One of the major reasons for this common workplace phenomenon is people’s different behavioral styles. You can be naturally conflictive when you behave naturally!
The four major behavior patterns are dominance, influencing, steadiness and conscientiousness (DISC). Each of us is a combination of all four, but almost everyone finds at least one or two of the styles most comfortable.
Dominant styles are easy to detect. They sport a strong handshake, steady eye contact and exhibit a confidence that may overwhelm less powerful people. They prosper by solving challenges … and often are a challenge for others. They don’t get ulcers; they are carriers. They are risk takers and thrive as CEOs of their own companies and big corporations.
To get along better, provide brief, direct answers. Stick to business and the results they desire. Ask “what” questions.
Influencers are natural networkers. Provide a favorable, friendly environment and let them verbalize about people, ideas, and the weather and on and on. Supply testimonials, as they want to know “who” is using your products and services and attending your events. Focus on building relationships!
Steady people are just as their moniker indicates: Amicable, calm, soothing, sincere, loyal and the consummate team player. They are so nice … dogs come up and pet them! They are most comfortable when everyone gets along, thus, the most disappointed when conflict arises. They often climb into their shell, hoping the disagreements will disappear. By far the best listeners, they often are cornered by the natural networkers!
Provide a sincere, personal and agreeable environment. Focus on answers to “how” questions. Assure them you will personally follow up.
Conscientious people are analytical, quality control people who make sure things are done right. Usually, they think they can do it “most right.” As managers, they have sticky fingers and micro-manage. They seem to have computers in their heads and compare what is said to their database. If it fits, they keep it; if not, they discard it. This process (and they spent a lot of time processing) takes time and, therefore, they are the least verbal.