Here are five suggestions on how this can be done:
1. Don't wait for an invitation or permission.
If you must, interrupt. Interrupting is a common practice in business, despite what we’ve all been taught about good manners. Controlling the direction of discussion is a key business battleground. In order to be consistently effective communicators, women must hold their ground when speaking.
2. Get to the point and stay there.
Business speaks—like most men's conversational styles—is linear. Be succinct. Avoid personal stories and too much detail. Be honest and direct without being unfriendly.
Wandering off topic, or allowing participants in a meeting or discussion to go off topic, is not a communication trait exclusive to women by any means. However, it is counterproductive. Bringing everyone back on task and being sure that your own message keeps its course are skills any effective communicator must have.
3. Adopt “masculine” communication traits.
Communication styles typically deemed to be “masculine,” reinforce authority.
Turn up the volume, and lower the pitch. Maintain steady eye contact, don't nod your head or cock it to the side. This position is sympathetic and can even be taken as condescending. Don't smile excessively or fidget. "Own" the space on which you stand or sit.
Avoid letting your intonation rise at the end of a sentence—what Jerry Seinfeld termed “up-talking.” Up-talkers often appear uncertain about what they are saying, thus losing all authority and credibility.
Being comfortable speaking on the fly has everything to do with confidence and authenticity. When you are confident your own abilities, strengths, skills, assets and value, you will speak confidently, regardless of the size of the group or the topic of discussion.
4. Avoid disclaimers.
Avoid "buts," self put-downs, unwarranted apologies, excuses, or upward intonations. Again, this has to do with confidence, and top management values confidence and conviction above all else.
Most women have a conversational style that strives to make others feel comfortable. To accomplish this, many women position their beliefs as opinions and use disclaimers before they speak, such as, “I may be wrong about this, but.…” While this conversational style is extremely effective in building consensus, it can undermine the authority of the speaker.
5. Remain flexible.
Women are not alone in the call to flex their communication style in business today. Some situations call for a "command and control" male communications strategy, but others require a "softer" female approach that is more collaborative. More and more businessmen are seeing that a collaborative communications style works better in some business situations: for example, recruiting and retaining the brightest talent, and creating and maintaining strategic business partnerships. And as women gain more power, men are finding that they have no choice but to adapt their styles to match those of women.
